What did Hannibal Lector do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped!
June 2013
I'd have a lot more followers if I stopped posting my asshole
Sadly, I think the majority of you stick around because you love my random asshole posts.
*
What if someone who looked almost exactly like you suddenly became very famous?
Well Brad Pitt looks almost exactly like me and I don’t let it bother me.
In all seriousness, I would never claim to be the famous person. Being famous would suck. I would try to make money off of my likeness with said celebrity, either doing appearances or stunt-double or whatever.
My two main goals in life are to be happy and to retire early. If I can make money off of looking like a celebrity, I sure as hell going to take advantage of it. I want enough money to retire now!!
Love the One You're With
Stephen Stills
If you’re down and confused
And you can’t remember who you’re talkin’ to
Concentration slips away
‘Cuz your baby is so far away
Well there’s a rose in a fisted glove
And the eagle flies with the dove
And if you can’t be with the one you love
Honey love the one you’re with
Love the one you’re withLove the one you’re with
Love the one you’re with
Daddy's little girl is totally an acceptable phrase
Daddy’s little boy is totally creepy.
To Live and Die in LA
Tupac
June 16, 1971 - Sept 13, 1996
Today must be a confusing day for girls that call their boyfriend's "daddy"
Cats in the Cradle
Harry Chapin
Father’s Day
Listening to this song, it ALWAYS makes me think of my dad.
I just want to say thank you for being my Dad
Awwww, my dearest Lizzie. This means so much to me.
Now come over hear and give me a kiss on my penis and sit on my face!
Feel Me Flow
Naughty By Nature
This song always reminds me of the summer.
I have plenty of great friends that I have known my whole life
I am about to drop them all because none of those fuckers have a swimming pool.
I could really go for a blumpkin right now.
Closer
Nine Inch Nails
6:13 6/13
#DateTimeTunes
Fool In The Rain
Led Zeppelin
6:13 6/13
#DateTimeTunes
“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro’ narrow chinks of his cavern.”
—
Truthful Tuesday
Since throwing away my old shoes, I now wear Crocs when cutting grass.
Unfollow at will.
Truthful Tuesday
This past week has been one of the most stressful and essentially fucked up weeks that I have had in years. I didn’t post anything about it. I guess I am not as open on here as I thought, or some things are better to be left unsaid.
I have no idea when the last time I did an actual legit Truthful Tuesday
I’m nowhere near being a nerd. I don’t know anything about comics, cartoons or those movies. With that being said, I don’t play video games and don’t understand the posts about XBox or Playstation.
I’m a dork. I like to know statistics about things, esp in sports. 60 Minutes is one of my favorite shows. I love watching the news and HGTV. So I may not be a nerd, but I am totally a dork.
Pretty excited that I might be hanging out with Savana this week.
I got more to say, but I gotta go poop. Talk to you kids later.
“When I can’t sleep I count the buckles on my straight-jacket.”
—Cathie Linz
“G’z up
Hoe’s down” —Snoop Doggy Dogg
Hoe’s down” —Snoop Doggy Dogg
This Date in Baseball History
Six weeks shy of his 16th birthday, Joe Nuxhall becomes the youngest person to play in a major league contest in this century. After being called in the ninth inning into a 13-0 rout by the Cardinals at Crosley Field, the 15-year high school southpaw, who will stay in the Reds organization for over sixty years, becoming best known as the voice for the team’s radio broadcasts, retires the first batter he faces, but is unable to get out of the inning, yielding five walks, two hits, one wild pitch and five runs.
“Cut
It
Out” —Joey Gladstone
It
Out” —Joey Gladstone
Great day to be a Bengals fan
Chad Johnson gets no jail time & slaps his lawyers ass in celebration. Judge didn’t like that, he gets 30 days in jail and 3 months probation added.
Adam Pacman Jones decides to punch a girl in her face at a bar. Yup, he’s in jail too.