I haven’t been around much. My life has been consumed by hanging out with my bad friends and doing copious amounts of drugs. I spent all of my savings so I pulled a jackass move and and kept doing cash advances on my credit card. It got pretty bad, but I have to stop.
I decided in therapy the other day that I needed to stop drugs, esp since I am having gastric bypass on the 11th. I know this is all shit you guys have heard before, but I hope it’s the truth. I can’t being doing drugs and having surgery, it will kill me.
I just got off a tearjerker conversation with my brother about him being worried about me being drugs. We talked about a lot of different things. Apparently when I was in my heyday of drug using 5 years ago, I told him I didn’t want to be his best man in his wedding, something i guess that hurt him. I told him there were a lot of things from the past that he did that hurt me and that is why I said that. He is worried about me, but in the end I feel we are a lot closer.
I am a pretty dark individual. I have my demons more than the average Joe. But I am pretty excited about being clean from drugs. I am excited and scared shitless about this surgery. I think being clean and having this surgery will change my life. I hope to be around a lot more longer in life and if i keep up with my lifestyle, I wont be.
"If there were an Olympics in self sabotage, I’d be on the podium."
Leave that shit on Facebook.
Yes, I am looking at you Brooke
I despise rain in the fall. It makes me super depressed. Ironically I love rain in the spring and summer. It makes me super happy!